Every January, I know how tempting it is to want to emerge from your front door screaming “new year new me!”to anyone that happens to be outside. As your resident dietitian/coach/friend I have to tell you: do not do this! Not only are you putting immense pressure on yourself, the way we make resolutions is typically so negative!
The resolution-heavy attitude of January is meant to be positive, but to me it is downright negative. It’s you just pointing out to yourself all the things you hate about yourself and vowing to become a completely different person. It’s a trap because while it’s meant to make us feel like we are getting better, pointing out all the things we don’t like about ourselves kinda makes us feel even worse.
I want you to try a simple reframe with me: instead of saying “I’m going to stop doing x” I want you to say “I’m going to start doing x.”
Here are some basic examples that can have a big impact. Read them out loud so you can hear the difference in the tone!
- “I’m going to stop hitting snooze” >> “I’m going to start setting a time on my alarm that I know has allowed me to get the proper rest I need and wake feeling like I can get out of bed.”
- “I’m going to stop eating sweets” >> “I’m going to start making sure when I eat sweets it’s something I really want and I’m able to take time to really enjoy it.”
- “I’m going to stop snacking at night” >> “I’m going to start making sure my meals are filling and satisfying so I don’t feel the need to sit in front of the TV and snack all night.”
- “I’m going to stop being lazy” >> “I’m going to start an exercise routine I actually enjoy and that makes me feel good instead of trying to stick to doing things I don’t like and end up not continuing.”
Even though these are pretty general and innocent, you can still see how the reframe has a sense of encouragement and positivity that the original statement did not.
Changing the phrasing to from “stop” to “start” also gives you wiggle room you need to make a change. Saying you’re going to stop something is a hard stop. Cold turkey. No room for a relapse. But saying you’re going to start something allows you to try it and grow. It allows you to practice and get used to an idea.
I already shared some of my personal ones last email, but allow me to emphasize the positive frame:
- I’m going to start making sure I am enjoying everything I eat.
- I’m going to start focusing more on my body’s abilities rather than appearance.
- I’m going to start sharing more of my authentic self in the hopes I can make deeper connections with others.
- I’m going to start finding more fulfilling ways to spend down time rather than scrolling on social media.
- I’m going to start getting into a better morning routine to set myself up for a good day.
- I’m going to start emphasizing reality over expectations.
- I’m going to start processing and disposing of my negative thoughts.
- I’m going to start being okay with taking things one day at a time.