When I was in school for dietetics, sometimes we would discuss why we wanted to be dietitians and what roles we saw ourselves taking. My classmates would say things like, “my mother has diabetes and I’ve seen her struggle so I want to be a diabetes educator.” Or, “my sister had a tough pregnancy and so I want to work with pregnant women and make sure they are getting the proper nutrition for them and their babies.” Or even something like, “I had an eating disorder in high school so I want to be a dietitian in an eating disorder clinic.”
Mostly, I would just sit there listening and thinking to myself, well shit. I just really love good food. I love eating nutritious food, fun food, all food. I love cooking and baking and most of my best memories growing up and in my adult life have to do with food. I am fascinated with the human body and I love exercise and fueling for exercise.
This lead me to believe that if I wanted to be a successful dietitian, I had to have some sort of profound life experience or trauma to be qualified to help others.
Growing up I loved dance and took classes for 10 years. I had fun but I wasn’t good enough to be noticed by anyone at the dance school or make my college team. I didn’t really have anyone telling me how to hone my skills, but I did have them! I tried taking classes for fun but soon thought, what’s the point?
This lead me to believe if I didn’t have encouragement from others, I was not worthy.
During college I was majoring in communication. I kind of liked it but it’s not a very hard thing to like. I took writing classes, event planning, journalism, media relations, pop culture, etc. It was pretty fun. But when it came time for my internships and eventually finding a job I found that I didn’t like it much. I wasn’t excited about the work and didn’t feel like I was making an impact. I felt very expendable but wasn’t sure how to focus my strengths on something I found rewarding. I felt like I was too far out from college to make an industry change, so I stuck it out.
This lead me to believe that I couldn’t pivot careers or industries because I needed to gain experience in order to move up.
I eventually quit the industry because I was unhappy and worked at a gym as a fitness coach. I enrolled in school again after a year of doing this. I thought I finally had a vision after my nutrition and fitness interests had grown. I wanted to have my own practice, see my own clients, do workouts, write programs, talk about cooking healthy food, help people reach their goals! Then I went through school, completed my internship, passed the RD exam, and… looked for a job. All my professors, teachers, instructors, directors and mentors told me to look for a clinical job first.
This lead me to believe the only way anyone would take me seriously as a dietitian is if I had clinical experience.
None of these are true! I don’t want to be a clinical dietitian, so why am I looking for clinical jobs? Because that’s what happens when you’ve spent years listening to others. You cave.
So, why do we struggle?
We struggle to find ourselves because a lot of us are trying to fit into what others expectations of us are, or follow rules that aren’t real. Along the way, we lose sight of our own interests and desires and motivations because we have tuned them out to fit the ideals of others. We are scared to follow our guts because what if it doesn’t work out? I’ve wasted a lot of time on things that don’t matter to me because I was told it’s the right thing to do. Right for who, though?
Don’t give up putting in the self work and working on discovering (or rediscovering) who you are. Let go of unwritten and arbitrary rules that don’t pertain to you! Look to yourself for guidance, encouragement, motivation and build your own experiences.