Almost all of my clients tell me they want to lose weight. This could be during our discovery call when I ask what they are hoping to get out of working together, or it could be during our first session when we go over our general goals. Sometimes it’s masked as “I’d like to improve on this and that, and wouldn’t be mad if I lost some weight in the process.” Or, “I wouldn’t say weight loss is a priority, but I am about 15 pounds heavier than I want to be.”
When I became a registered dietitian and knew I wanted to go into private practice, I basically guaranteed myself I’d be working with weight loss clients. Because why else would you need a dietitian? (Have since resolved that for myself).
And I get it. Believe me, I do. We live in a society where thinness is still seen as the most beautiful, and fatphobia really is all around you if you are looking for it, especially if you are living with it. It’s so much easier in our society to be small.
I believe every person has the right to do what they want with their body. Losing weight is included in that, of course.
I am not against weight loss, however I do know that we often look to losing weight to solve problems that have absolutely nothing to do with weight.
So, when someone tells me they want to lose weight I respect that. However, I will at some point ask the following question:
“What aspects of your life do you feel will improve if your body size was different?”
The answers more often than not could have something to do with love, relationships, stress, fear, connection, confidence, energy, etc.
All things that can be improved regardless of weight. Example:
If you want to lose weight to improve your confidence in public speaking, ask yourself what will improve. Will people take your more seriously? Will you simply just have the confidence to get up in front of a room full of people and have them all staring at you?
Acknowledge it’s true that you can learn to command people’s attention and gain confidence without a single pound lost. Really, you could. It IS possible.
So if you’ve found yourself saying “if I could just lose x pounds THEN I could…” you’re not chasing the weight. You’re chasing what you want after the word “could.”
I’ve shifted my practice so much away from weight loss because time and time again I have come to find that my client thinks weight loss is the answer and along the journey understands that it isn’t. It’s been proven over and over. Sometimes they forget they even mentioned weight until three months later and I say, “so where is your mindset on your weight at this point?” And they say, “oh, I forgot about the weight.”
So, I’ll ask you again: “What aspects of your life do you feel will improve if your body size was different?”