The ‘Almond Mom’ thing has been going around for a little while at this point. If you haven’t heard the term, it is used by adults mostly in their 20s-40s to negatively (lots of people would argue it’s jokingly, but I really only see it as negatively) describe a mom that was obsessed with diet culture in the 90s/2000s.
What does ‘almond’ mean in almond mom?
The ‘almond’ reference is basically that one of these moms would eat an almond and claim she was full. Basically making the child feel super self-conscious about their bodies and food choices in comparison to the mom.
I’m not saying that people of this age don’t have food and body issues to work through that stem from childhood. And the 90s and 2000s were a dark time in diet culture – arguably with the dawn of social media you could argue that this time period was really when diet culture took off.
[It’s also possible, of course, that people are dealing with food and body trauma from childhood that was the result of shaming or neglect from parents and I’m certainly not excusing that or referring to that with this post.]
But since I’m an incredible empath I can’t help but see this from another perspective. See, you could argue that I had an almond mom. She fits the characteristics. I’m bigger than my mom is. I’ve always eaten more and weighed more. I’ve felt bad about that at times, but it wasn’t because of her and the way she lived. It was because of diet culture. Plus, I love my mom. I never for one second thought that she was intentionally trying to damage me by choosing for herself to not eat breakfast.
I’ve grown up and learned to respect that my mom is the way she is because that’s just how she is.
Just like I am the way I am because I’m me. And you’re you. And no one else really has a say in that.
I wrote a little poem to celebrate my almond mom and all the other almond moms out there that are being blamed for our food and body issues but shouldn’t be.
My Almond Mom
If you didn’t know my mom, you’d call her an almond mom.
She’s always been around 110 pounds and you can see her 6 pack still at 70 years old.
She doesn’t always eat breakfast.
You’ll be out with her for the day and at 1:00 turn to her and say, “do you want to get lunch?” And she will look at you, puzzled. “you’re hungry?” She will ask.
She’ll eat a tofu dog when you’re eating a hot dog.
She’s dabbled in weight watchers because it was trendy. She’s watched her intake of sweets before going on vacation. It’s never become an obsession for her.
She’s not immune to diet culture.
You will look at her and dwell on the fact you didn’t seem to inherent her metabolism or body type.
You will be self conscious when you give her a pair of your old pants that are too small but when she wears them, they’re too big.
But.
She eats dessert every day, saying “A day without a cookie is not complete.”
She will offer to make you French toast for breakfast, eat some herself, then regret it when she has a stomach ache. This pattern will repeat eventually.
She will support you when you feel like your legs are bigger than the rest of your friends and you don’t know if that makes you an outcast or not.
She will go to every store in the mall with you until you, as a self-conscious teenager, feel good about a pair of pants. Even if they’re $60 (in 2005).
She will go on her 5+ mile runs because it’s the only time she can really zone out and listen to the same songs she’s had on her iPod shuffle since 2013.
She will tell you that as long as you’re healthy and happy it doesn’t matter what size bathing suit you get.
She will tell you she’s jealous that you have a nice butt and hers is getting flat.
And.
As you mature and become less self-absorbed you realize that she’s just been doing what works for her.
She’s hungry when she eats, and she stops when she’s full.
If she’s hungry again or wants to pick at a piece of cake later, she will do that.
She does not limit her access to foods.
She doesn’t fear foods or being overweight.
She tried to teach you to do the same, but understands that she doesn’t know what it’s like to feel self-conscious about your weight.
She does not buy diet versions of all foods, but she does for some, and it’s a personal preference.
You realize that you don’t have to act or eat a certain way around her because there was never and judgement there. Not for a minute.