Stop sneaking into the kitchen to eat when no one is around.
You know what I mean. You’ve done it. You might currently do it.
I know because I’ve done it too – so many times. And I’ve done it for a lot of reasons. I want to share some with you.
When I first started working I always brought all my food to work. People praised me for being healthy, but I was also being economical. I couldn’t afford to go to lunch every day so I brought food with me. I also wanted to make sure I knew how many calories were in it. People would curiously glance over the edge of my cubicle and roll their eyes. “You’re always so good,” they would say. When we’d get a catered lunch there was always cookies (you know the ones) and I typically would clean up after, moving the leftovers into the kitchen. I’d always wrap several cookies in a paper towel to sneak back to my desk. I didn’t want anyone to see me eat them and ruin the “healthy” image I’d built.
I have such a sweet tooth. I love having muffins, cookies, loaf cakes or even something simple like graham crackers on hand. I am also a big snacker. My husband is the opposite. He doesn’t have a forceful sweet tooth and he is more of a meal guy than a snack guy. So when we first were living together, I felt like he’d judge me if I snacked on things like that. So I’d wait until he was in another room to eat something. I don’t know why but I just wanted him to think I was healthy and somehow snacking on sweets when he wasn’t made me feel self-conscious.
Emotional eating is a loaded topic, meaning lots of different things to many of us. When I was an avid emotional eater, I would always do it in secret. I’d wait until I was alone or when no one was in the same room as me and I’d eat something “bad” very quickly. My thought was that I just needed this temporary mood booster and if I ate it really fast then it wouldn’t “count.” Almost like it never happened. It had to be done in secret because I couldn’t have anyone watching me eat 10 cookies in under 2 minutes.
It wasn’t until one day someone said something to me that changed the way I thought.
My husband looked at me one day and he said, “you know, you don’t have to sneak food. You can eat whatever you want whenever you want.” My first instinct was to push back and say something like, “what ever do you mean?!” but it was obvious what I was doing because I would leave whatever item out on the counter in a container and after a few days it would disappear, without him ever seeing me take a bite. Note: we lived in a very small apartment and we basically knew each other’s every move especially when it came to food.
When he said this to me for some reason, like a light switch, I relaxed.
I realized that my sneak eating was done to avoid judgment from others. I wasn’t even beating myself up or judging myself! I was just so afraid of letting other people see that I’m not always “healthy” or that I eat indulgent foods. I thought they might not trust me as an expert in health or fitness. I thought they’d think that I wasn’t as healthy as they thought and they’d think less of me.
I started eating what I wanted and showing people that I enjoyed it. I also lost the need to overeat to get as much in as I could when I had the chance.
If that is something you struggle with, you don’t have to keep feeling that way. Click here to take the first step.