Why do we feel guilty about eating certain foods?
Feelings of guilt typically surface when we feel we’re playing a role in perpetuating bad outcomes. In food, this is often related to weight gain or being “unhealthy.” When you make choices that you think are bad, you feel guilt because those choices are going to harm you in some way – whether that’s halting your body goals or harming your health.
We also feel guilt as it relates to others’ judgement of us. Unfortunately, as humans it’s hard not to be affected by how we think other people view us and our lifestyles. We want to be accepted and liked! Today, the way we eat is almost a personality trait. There are all kinds of elite, organic, natural clubs and paleo clubs and no-sugar-added clubs. When we aren’t part of one of these or we eat in a way that contradicts the beliefs of the club we can feel guilty, unworthy or shameful.
Basically, guilt comes from doing something we know we shouldn’t do. We are self-conscious about our choice, or maybe feel like we have hurt ourselves or someone else.
Food really shouldn’t cause those feelings. Feeling guilty about food is not okay.
There is no reason to let yourself feel guilt or shame for the choices you make about food. You can either endorse your behavior or decide next time you’re going to do better. Beating yourself up about it just to beat yourself up is utterly pointless and won’t help you change – in fact, it’ll likely keep you stuck in that harmful cycle.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve struggled with (or are struggling with) feeling guilty about the foods you eat or the foods you want to eat. So I’m going to tell you how to work through those feelings and stop food guilt once and for all.
How to Stop Feeling Guilty About Food
1. Stop thinking about food in black or white terms. None of the foods you’re feeling guilty about are “bad” or unhealthy on their own. That’s just not how food works. Food always exists in a context – it’s never just about the food!
Fix this by starting to think about a spectrum with different foods at both ends and a whole lot in between. One end might be the super nutritious side and the other might be the more fun side but they’re on the same spectrum.
Why is this hard to do? Because with binary thinking we know what we are getting. It’s simple to classify and move on. This food is good. This food is bad. There is no nuance requiring us to think deeper. But I want you to start thinking deeper!
2. Start thinking about what your food choices are giving you. In other words, remove guilt and add ___ (pleasure, enjoyment, energy, protein, etc.). It’s kinda unnatural for us to think about food this way but it can be helpful. How can you feel guilty about eating something if it’s nourishing you? Giving you happiness? Providing energy? You can’t! And you shouldn’t.
You might notice that if you’re eating just to eat that it isn’t actually a very satisfying experience. You’re probably avoiding something or putting something off or are bored. Stop eating in those instances when you aren’t getting anything out of it.
3. Reframe negative thoughts, or ask “so what?” This might look like:
“I feel so guilty for eating that.” >> “I feel like I didn’t earn dessert because I didn’t work out today.” >> “I don’t have to earn my food, that’s not how eating works. I can eat something if I want to whenever I want to.” >> “Next time I will check in with myself before I eat dessert to see if it’s something I really want or if I’m just bored.”
With that sequence, you’ve now allowed yourself guilt-free access to something and also gently reminded yourself to be in tune with your mood and emotions relating to food so you can make things like eating dessert worthwhile.
You can also say to yourself, “so what?” So what if you ate dessert today? Nothing bad is going to happen to you or anyone else. Check in about how often you’re doing it and how you’re feeling if you need some feedback.
4. Be confident in your choices. Let’s be clear – guilt around food is probably coming from your perception that someone is judging you. Maybe not even one person specifically but we live under constant societal pressure to be a certain way and that includes the way we eat.
If you can tune out the noise about food (and we all know it’s LOUD noise), then you won’t have to worry about what others are thinking. Unless you’re not being true to yourself and your needs and you feel guilty for letting yourself down then there is no one left to have let down!
The best way I can suggest getting closer to this one is to find yourself a registered dietitian that you can talk through your food concerns with. Do you want to know if carbs really make you fat? Should you be avoiding “toxic” ingredients? How much sugar is too much? Why are you always craving sweets? Speaking with someone to help you set the record straight will lead you to becoming a confident eater knowing that you are making the right choice for you.